The title of this post “What’s Brown and Sticky” is unfortunately the lead into one of the few jokes I seem to remember with any consistency…. It is my favourite “Dad” joke… and the answer is of course …. A Stick !!!
It is curious, that even though we don’t usually like to talk about bodily functions (in “polite” conversation)… we do seem to have a fascination with Poo and Fart jokes… and they are not just for children. Even if you’re a full-grown adult, you are still going to end up laughing your ass off. This post is primarily about Poop and Farts – in relation to Gastric Bypass Surgery, which is not quite as hilarious (but see the end of this post for some more Poop jokes).
Apparently, after gastric bypass surgery, many people experience some degree of diarrhea and smelly gas (malodorous flatulence). This is typically common during the first few months as the body adjusts and heals.
Since my Surgery (7 weeks ago), I have been Pooing much less – which is hardly surprising since I am actually eating less than half what I once would have. I have experienced a little Diarrhea (but not as much as I had anticipated), but my stools are certainly softer than pre-surgery… are consistently a light brown (almost beige) in colour… and my gas is more often than not smellier than previously.
I have collated together below a range of information on some of the most common post-surgery effects on digestion :
Digestion After Surgery
Gastric bypass surgery helps you lose weight by altering the anatomy of your digestive system. Your stomach is smaller after the procedure and food passes more
Long-Term Dietary Considerations
quickly through your digestive system. As a result, your body absorbs fewer nutrients and your shortened bowel produces more gas and odors than before surgery.
Diarrhea and flatulence usually improve as your body adjusts after gastric bypass surgery. After the early postoperative period, you will begin to eat small amounts of high-protein, low-carbohydrate, low-fat foods that give you the nutrients you need while losing weight. However, certain foods — such as meat, beans, wheat, dairy products and vegetables — may cause flatulence and diarrhea long after your body has healed.
Dumping syndrome frequently occurs in gastric bypass patients when they eat foods containing a large amount of sugar. The bowel responds to the high concentration of sugar by moving extra fluid into the digestive system. As a result, diarrhea may occur within 30 to 60 minutes. Excess gas is also produced as bacteria feed on the sugar. Hormones are released during an occurrence of dumping syndrome, commonly resulting in dizziness, flushing, a drop in blood pressure and an increase in heart rate. Symptoms may range from mild to severe and generally last 1 to 2 hours.
Certain eating habits can increase intestinal gas. Many surgeons advise patients to avoid activities such as drinking carbonated beverages, chewing gum or using a straw to prevent the introduction of excess air into the digestive system. Eating slowly and chewing your food thoroughly can improve digestion and may reduce excess intestinal gas.
Drinking liquids during meals can push foods through the digestive system too quickly. People who have undergone gastric bypass surgery are usually advised to stop all fluids before beginning to eat and to wait for roughly 30 minutes afterward before drinking again.
More Poop Jokes
And to finish off… here are a few more Poop jokes to put a “smile” on your face :
- Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your genes.
- Have you seen the movie Diarrhea?
It leaked so they had to release it early.
- Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn’t budget.
- Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
- What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
- What did one fly say to the other?
Is this stool taken?
- Do you want to hear a poop joke?
Never mind it’s too corny.
- What’s the true definition of bravery?
Chancing a fart when you know you have diarrhea.
- Did you know that when you say the word “poop”, your mouth does the same motion as your bum hole?
The same is true for the phrase, “explosive diarrhea”.
- Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes.
But they’re a solid #2.